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There’s nothing that frustrates me more as a mom than interruptions and distractions throughout the day. It seems like sometimes no matter what I’m trying to do, one of the kids is undoing it at the same time. I saw a quote once that really made me laugh because of how true it is:
This just doesn’t apply to cleaning though – cooking dinner, doing laundry, organizing toys, writing lesson plans for the week, preparing for Sunday School, even reading a book. It seems like as soon as I get started on something, someone needs something else from me.
It’s so tempting to see these interruptions as a negative thing. After all, who wants to be pulled away from cooking dinner to stop your toddler from playing in the toilet? True story.
And nobody wants to hear an ear-piercing scream from your five-year-old – in the middle of a phone call with one of your church friends – because the 15-month-old knocked down his creation of Magnatiles. Another true story.
Sometimes I get so discouraged because I just want to cook or clean or insert literally any other task IN PEACE. Just a few minutes of quiet while I mix up a casserole or put away the clean dishes or fold and put away my clothes. Instead, I’m usually having to remove Zoey from standing on the kitchen table and then listening to her cry because all she wants to do in life is walk around on the table.
And teaching Zeke his homeschool lessons? Zoey wants to climb on the table, draw on his papers, throw markers and glue sticks and pencils all over the floor…it quickly becomes the most stressful hour of the day.
Yes, it’s so easy to see distractions as complications to my life. And when I start lumping my children in and seeing them as distractions? That’s when my attitude turns sour, and I become someone I don’t want to be.
I’m reminded of another well-known quote that I am trying to really internalize:
I read this, and I remember a few things.
My children don’t care if my house is spotless.
Yes, it’s very important for children to live in clean homes. But clean does not equal immaculate. Clean means safe. Clean means comfortable. And when you think about it, are immaculately clean homes ever comfortable for children? The fear of messing something up outweighs the enjoyment of spotlessly clean.
It’s okay if there are dishes in the sink, toys on the floor, dust on the shelves. When books litter the floor, flour is spilled on the counter, and your child’s fort is taking over the living room, it just shows signs of LIFE. We live in our homes, and our homes will look lived in – especially when you have children.
My kitchen may be messy because we cook two or three meals a day in there. Our dining room may be full of art projects and workbooks because we learn at the table. And I have to learn to embrace that.
I can involve my children in my work.
Of course I know this, and I do this, but sometimes I need to remind myself again! Children learn life skills by being involved in life. When I’m folding towels, I can give Zoey a few rags to learn to fold and let Zeke help fold the big towels. When I’m cooking dinner, I can let them stir, crack, or pour. When I’m dusting, I can hand them a rag and spray bottle of water. When I’m making beds, they can hand me pillows. When I’m washing dishes, they can stand in a chair and help me.
Yes, it makes the work go slower. But it keeps them occupied and out of trouble, and hopefully cuts down on them making messes while I’m busy with other tasks.
I can change my perspective.
Maybe they’re not the distractions from my work – maybe my work is a distraction from their needs!
Instead of seeing a fussy toddler as a hinderance to what I’m trying to get done, I can sit down, rock her, and be thankful for the few minutes of rest we’re getting from the busy day.
Instead of sending Zeke off to play alone while I try to cross a few more things off my list, I can sit down, read him a book, and be thankful that he still loves to crawl in my lap and listen to stories.
Instead of being frustrated that it’s time to start on dinner, I can be thankful for a full pantry, fridge, and kitchen capable of feeding my family healthy meals. I can involve the little ones in meal prep and setting the table and have a nice, family dinner.
Instead of focusing on the mess to clean up after that fabulous meal, I can include my older kids in clean-up and engage them in conversation while we’re washing dishes.
In other words, I can live my life side-by-side with my kids instead of shooing them away and labeling them as interruptions.
This doesn’t mean that I’ll never get frustrated again. Oh, believe me, I will! I’m still trying to figure out how to keep Zoey from terrorizing us during schooltime. But when I change my perspective, my attitude improves. When my attitude improves, the kids are happier. When the kids are happier, the whole house has more peace and less chaos, and that’s really all I can ask for.
