10 Books That Will Help You Be a Better Parent to Your Teen

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These 10 Books That Will Help You Be a Better Parent to Your Teen

Written By: Marybeth Bock

The other day I was having one of those frustrating parenting moments. You know the ones – when you just want an expert to magically appear at your door, take your hand, and lead you to a cozy chair where you can sit and listen to their insightful, sage advice. And somewhere in the calm of their voice, you realize that, no matter what’s going on with your kid, it will all be just fine. 

Well, I have just the expert for you! Jessica Lahey, bestselling author of The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence knows her stuff!

Jessica has come up with a list of books that can change your life as a parent of a teenager. She has outstanding resources to share with anyone who may be stumbling through the difficult days of wondering what to do and what to say when your teen is sad, anxious, lonely, angry, or heartbroken. 

Sure, it can be helpful to talk to a trusted friend, a co-worker, or a sister who’s been through it, but we also need parenting advice from experts who have done years of research, talked with thousands of teens and parents, and have unbiased and evidence-based facts for us.

So, when you’ve endured one too many door slams, eye rolls, or refusals to obey your rules, and you’re not sure where to turn, look to the experts who aim to make your parenting journey more peaceful and loving.

There are so many wonderful books available to parents of teens, but here are our top favorites from Jessica Lahey’s list that can help guide and support you and help you become a better parent to your teenager.

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Dealing with our teens’ powerful emotions is one of the biggest challenges we face as we move through our kids’ adolescent years. Is their behavior normal or should you be worried? This helpful, researched-informed book provides parents with practical strategies for supporting teens who feel at the mercy of their emotions so they can become psychologically aware and skilled at managing their feelings. (Fun fact: Dr. Damour worked as an expert collaborator on Pixar’s movie Inside Out 2!)

Dr. Ken Ginsburg is a pediatrician specializing in Adolescent Medicine and is the founder and Program Director at The Center for Parent and Teen Communication. He passionately believes that a healthy connection and an unwavering strong relationship between a parent and child is the essential element that prepares a young person to thrive. His book offers a refreshing perspective on the value of keeping a positive mindset about the astounding (and sometimes confusing!) growth that happens during the teen years.

The Self-Driven Child offers a combination of cutting-edge brain science, the latest discoveries in behavioral therapy, and case studies drawn from the thousands of kids and teens Bill and Ned have helped over the years to teach you how to set your child on the real road to success. As parents, we can only drive our kids so far. At some point, they will have to take the wheel and map out their own path. But there is a lot you can do before then to help them tackle the road ahead with resilience and imagination.

How happy are you day in and day out while raising your teenager? If you find yourself focusing most of your time on the negative aspects of parenting, you need this book. This book focuses on nine common problem spots that cause parents the most grief and it explores why they are difficult. The book offers small, doable, sometimes surprising steps that we can take to make them better. It’s a much-needed reminder that having a family isn’t just about raising great kids and getting them to a “successful” destination. It’s about experiencing real joy in parenting, the kind you look back on, look forward to, and live for, along the way.

Did you know that teens today are forty percent less empathetic than they were thirty years ago? This lack of empathy, which goes together with the self-absorption epidemic that Dr. Michele Borba calls the “Selfie Syndrome,” can be dangerous. It hurts our kids’ academic performance and leads to bullying behaviors. Also, it correlates with more cheating and less resilience. Once our kids grow up, a lack of empathy limits their ability to collaborate and problem-solve, all must-have skills for a global economy. This excellent book offers a framework for parenting that yields the results we all want – successful, happy kids who also are kind, moral, courageous, and resilient.

Psychologist Madeline Levine combines innovative research and her thirty years of clinical experience to shatter once and for all that popular myth that good grades, high test scores, and college acceptances should define the parenting endgame. This book will show you how to shift your focus away from the excesses of hyper-parenting and an unhealthy reliance on our kids for our own status and meaning. Reading this will help you move to a more loving parenting style that concentrates on both allowing academic success and developing a sense of purpose, well-being, and connection in your teenagers’ lives.

Do you often get frustrated because your teen never seems to want to do what you ask them to do? The pushbacks about chores, curfews, and screen time limits can seem endless. We want our teens to learn independence and responsibility, yet our old ideas of punishments and rewards are preventing this from happening. This book explains what’s called the Apprenticeship Model, a new theory of discipline that centers on the art of self-control. The author shows us that if we trust our kids to face consequences, they will naturally learn to adapt and moderate their own behavior. This one’s full of practical and useful advice.

So many of us grapple with questions surrounding tracking our teens’ movements with apps, looking at their grades within minutes of being posted online, and fixating on their digital footprint, worried that any little misstep might cause them to be “canceled” or even jeopardize their college admissions. How are our kids supposed to figure out who they are with zero privacy and constant judgment? With loads of empathy, this book shows us that by focusing on character, rather than the threat of getting caught or exposed, we can support our teens to be authentically themselves. The key is mentoring, not monitoring.

9. Ungifted by Scott Barry Kaufman

The intense pressures of high school academics and extracurricular activities can often make us feel like our kid is the only one who’s not acing every standardized test, making the winning goal on the field, shining onstage, or winning every school election. Cognitive psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman challenges the conventional wisdom about the childhood predictors of adult success. He shows that there are many paths to greatness and will help you develop a more comprehensive approach to your teens’ achievement that takes into account their personal goals, individual psychology, and unique developmental journey. This book is especially helpful for parents of late bloomers, those with dyslexia, those on the autism spectrum, or those who struggle with ADHD. All of our kids are gifted in their own way and on their own timeline.

Does your teen seem “checked out” when it comes to school? Are they full of anxiety because it seems so overwhelming at times? I know a lot of parents worry that their kids seem to lose their love of learning during their teen years and constantly complain that their classes are nothing more than “pointless.” With the help of this book’s strategies, you’ll figure out your teens’ learning mode and how to tailor your listening and communication styles to meet their needs. This is key to igniting their curiosity while building self-awareness and emotional regulation. If you want to raise a lifelong learner and move past all the whining about school, this book is for you.

About Marybeth Bock

Marybeth Bock, MPH, is a Mom to two young adults and one delightful hound dog. She has logged time as a military spouse, childbirth educator, college instructor, and freelance writer. She lives in Arizona and thoroughly enjoys research and writing – as long as iced coffee is involved. Her work can be found on numerous websites and in two books. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

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