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This Post: My Kids and I Track Each Other – Here’s Why We Both Love It
Written By: Marybeth Bock
If you want to start a fun debate among parents of teenagers, just bring up the topic of tracking your kids with a smartphone app. If you haven’t been dragged into the fray of this discussion yet, let me tell you, parents have their opinions. And with this topic, in particular, there are definitely opposing sides.
On One Side…
You have parents who strongly feel that they have the absolute right to track their teen’s whereabouts because:
a) They pay for their teen’s phone and service plan.
b) Simply put, they are the parent. Thus, they feel they have the right to know where their teen is at any time, day or night.
c) It’s not that they don’t trust their child, it’s simply that they worry about their safety and it brings them comfort to know where their teen is.
On The Other Side…
You have parents who are strongly against the idea of tracking their teen because:
a) They feel tracking infringes on their teen’s privacy and autonomy, which are important for personal growth.
b) They feel that constant monitoring of their teen’s whereabouts can send the message that they lack trust in their teen, potentially damaging their relationship.
c) Tracking apps aren’t foolproof and some parents question that the data location might not accurately reflect where their teen is which can cause added worry or frustration.
d) Looking back on their own childhood, they feel they turned out just fine despite their parents never having any idea where they were when they were teenagers, so why should they raise their child any differently?
There isn’t a right or wrong answer here. Whether you choose to track your teen or not is a personal parenting decision. However, as a Mom, I publicly admit that my kids and I track each other – and, we love it! Yes… really!
For me and my family, it’s less about surveillance and tracking each other’s every move and more about safety, transparency, and respect. What I’ve found is that when both parents and teens agree to use a tracking app responsibly, it can foster mutual trust, accountability, and connection.
Here’s Why My Kids and I Track Each Other (And Why We Wouldn’t Have It Any Other Way)
1. A Sense of Security
You might be surprised to know that a lot of teens (and even young adults) often feel safer knowing that their parents can locate them in the event of an emergency.
Whether they’re driving alone late at night, traveling to unfamiliar places, their car breaks down, or they find themselves in an uncomfortable or dangerous situation, it can bring a teen a ton of comfort knowing a tracking app can quickly pinpoint their location so their parent(s) can respond quickly.
Plus, it offers parents peace of mind (and a whole lot less worrying and anxiety) knowing where their child is and that they’re safe.
2. Sheer Convenience
When my oldest son got his driver’s license, he was horrible about remembering to text us when he had arrived at a location. (And, any parent of a new driver knows that you worry A LOT about your teen getting to their destination safely.) He willingly agreed to have me track him which not only offered me comfort but it meant I didn’t have to send him nagging texts every ten minutes, “Did you get there safely?” “Text me when you leave.” “But DON’T text me when you’re driving… it’s dangerous!”
Coordinating pickups, drop-offs, or meeting points also becomes so much easier when you and your teen can see each other’s location. And can we talk about how much our kids love knowing where WE are? “Hey Mom, I see you’re at Target. Can you buy posterboard for me?” or “OMG! You’re a mile away from In and Out Burger! Can you pleeease pick me up a double cheeseburger and fries? Love u Mom!”
And it goes both ways! I’ll often check my kids’ location and send texts like, “Hey, I see you’re close to the high school, can you pick your brother up from practice on your way home?”
3. It Doesn’t Feel Invasive to Teens Because It’s the Norm with Friends
For a lot of teenagers, location sharing feels normal because their friends also share their locations with them through apps like Snap Maps or Find My Friends.
Since they’re so accustomed to it, quite often teens don’t find it invasive or that big of a deal when parents want to share locations as well. (Hint: Life360 is a popular app a lot of parents use!)
4. It Builds Trust and Autonomy
When our kids agree to share their location, it demonstrates responsibility and transparency to us parents and that can go a long way in helping to establish more trust between us.
I can tell you that hearing my teenage son say, “I really don’t care if you guys check to see where I am” sure made my husband and I feel like he had nothing to hide and was honest with us about where he said he was going and what he was doing.
Many teenagers see allowing location tracking as a compromise to gain more freedom. If their parents feel reassured, they might be less likely to impose stricter rules or curfews. This was certainly the case with our kids.
5. Family Values
Our family, like so many others, prioritizes collective care and responsibility – no matter the family member’s age.
Case in point, my kids noticed that location sharing meant a lot to me as my own parents aged and we experienced several incidents where my dad got lost while driving and couldn’t manage his way home. My teens viewed location sharing as a sign of love and concern among our family members, rather than a negative means to control them.
While some teens appreciate the benefits of location sharing and tracking, others might feel that it invades their privacy or autonomy. As a parent, you have to do what feels right for your family.
Should you make the decision to track your teen, however, it needs to be presented in the right way, with the benefits to them highlighted and the tone of the discussion one of safety, transparency, and reciprocal concern.
The key here, as with any rules we put in place for our teenagers, is clear communication, reasons for your “why,” and mutual agreement on boundaries. And it never hurts to throw in the reminder that you’ll be happy to pick up their favorite snack for them occasionally!
About Marybeth Bock
Marybeth Bock, MPH, is a Mom to two young adults and one delightful hound dog. She has logged time as a military spouse, childbirth educator, college instructor, and freelance writer. She lives in Arizona and thoroughly enjoys research and writing – as long as iced coffee is involved. Her work can be found on numerous websites and in two books. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram.
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